Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
