i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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