Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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