i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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