how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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