Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have fence marks all over my body
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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