WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
