Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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