ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
