Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
