Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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