im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
