never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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