My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
