i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
