i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
