forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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