South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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