Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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