Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
