So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
