I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
