my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
