i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
