You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
