Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
