speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
