so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
