I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
