her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
