wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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