Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
