no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
