Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
