She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
