isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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