at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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