Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
