would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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