I just saw a hot homeless man
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
