is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
