i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
