I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
