Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
