absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
