the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's always time for handjobs
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
