i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
