wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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