whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
