Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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