Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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