Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
