Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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