i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i love accidental penises.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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