***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
