Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
