Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
