Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
