I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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