He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
