i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
